


The Potion in the Eiskaffee

by Feitans



Category: X-Men (Movieverse)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Charles Is a Big Dorkface, Charles You Will Be Drunk, Emma Is a God Among Men, Erik Has Feelings, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-08
Updated: 2016-10-08
Packaged: 2018-08-20 04:56:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,390
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8236826
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Feitans/pseuds/Feitans
Summary: The stereotypical coffee shop AU where Charles is practically drugged twice, Erik is crushed under the strength of the mighty sticky note, and Emma is an evil genius they should all thank for existing.Now served with alcohol!





	

Erik has no words for the scene before him. “Charles. What the fuck.”  Besides those of course.

 

“Don’t you like it?” A very cute, and very wasted Charles responds, ending with a hiccup, coupled by a giggle.

 

+++

 

“Charles, sweetie, it’s Valentine’s Day. It’s quite possibly the best day out of the entire year to profess your undying love to Erik. Besides, I’m sure the feelings are mutual. The guy treats all of us like gum stuck to his shoes, but when it comes to you he plays nice.” Emma says.

 

“Shush! He’ll hear you!” Charles looks back and forth between Emma and Erik’s office, like he’s watching a tennis game.

 

“Love, we both know Erik’s ears don’t work.” She lifts her hands and makes some wiggly finger motions, conjuring up the many, _many_ times Erik should’ve overheard Charles swooning over him to literally any other worker in the coffee house. He actually let it slip when he was in the back with Azael, and again after hours to Janos. Emma has some otherworldly sixth sense, so it was no surprise when she caught Charles admiring Erik from afar. Since then, they’ve never heard the end of it. It’s either a miracle or a viable cause for a doctor’s visit that Erik’s still oblivious.

 

“Yes, but what if they suddenly began to work and today was the day?” Charles whines.

 

“If any day was _the day_ it would’ve been the time Azazel slipped moonshine into your afternoon coffee and you composed a best-selling romance novel on how to love Erik Lehnsherr.” Emma retorts.

 

“S-Shut up.” His face lights up like Rudolph’s nose. Charles actually has no recollection of this, but everyone bullied him nonstop for a month, so it must be true. Emma still brings it up in the form of blackmail at times. She claims to have video evidence. Absolutely terrifying.

 

“The universe will have its way, and today is the day.” Emma announces, before going to take a new customer’s order. These cryptic messages Emma delivers to everyone furthers the idea that she’s a psychic. Creepy.

 

Charles gently shakes his head and puffs out his lip, a scolded child. He waits for Emma write on the cup, so he can do his job. The girl asks about the ‘eiskaffee’. Charles feels Emma and Azazel (who’s currently wiping tables) sigh at the same time.

 

“It’s a German specialty consisting of chilled iced coffee, vanilla ice cream and whipped cream.” Emma automatically drones out. “Honestly, we’ve all been telling our boss to just put a description on the menu, but he’s just so stubborn.” Emma gives the girl an apologetic look. Charles thinks it’s more for herself, considering the sheer amount of times she’s repeated that sentence.

 

“I am not.” Erik is out of his office. Charles’s is already staring. “The name of the coffeehouse is in German, but I don’t need to add a description next to that do I?”

 

“The German word for coffee is literally kaffee. The name of the place is kaffeeraum. How fucking dumb do you think people are?” Emma’s face is of pure disgust.

 

Erik rolls his eyes in return, and when he notices Charles, gives him a small, but genuine smile with a wave. Charles shines like the sun and waves back. Emma turns to face the customer and looks at her like she’s about to die from lethal injection. The customer looks coffee starved.

 

“Can I just get a large latte?” the girl is pleading.

 

“Yes. Charles, a large latte for the charming lady.” If Emma was kidnapped and told to genuinely smile for her life, the one she has on now would get her killed ten times over.

 

“Alright.” Charles rips his eyes off of Erik and goes do what he’s paid for.

 

“I’m off to a meeting, I’ll be back around nine, if any of you will still be here.” The meeting Erik speaks of is for his architecture business, aka his real job. The only reason he owns the coffee store is because he was a regular before and the previous owner died in a car crash. He didn’t want the place to close down, so he bought it, changed the name, added some German drinks onto the menu and said it was his. None of the employees seemed to mind. They all knew Erik well so it was no big change.

 

As Erik leaves, you can feel Charles pouting more and more. If Emma cared enough to learn about statistics in high school, she would say there was a direct correlation between Erik’s proximity to Charles and Charles’s happiness. How frustrating. Every single time Erik leaves Charles becomes a dejected puppy. She can’t handle this much longer. This must be fixed today. And she knows exactly how.

 

+++

 

“Janos, come here.” Emma waves Janos inside the storage space.

 

“What is it, and why couldn’t you ask Azazel instead?”

 

“I wanted to avoid the Azazel-typical joke about fucking in the closet. And you make the best eiskaffee out of all of us.” She doesn’t mention that she’s running low on blackmail material for Azazel.

 

“Ok, so?”

 

“I need you to make Charles an eiskaffee and spike it with some moonshine. Like Azazel did last time around, but with a higher concentration.”

 

“And why would I do this?” Janos skeptically responds.

 

“Because if you don’t, I’ll show Azazel the video of you saying you’d suck his dick for a hundred bucks.”

 

“Your wish is my command, Empress Frost.” Following Janos’s quick defeat, a low bow for the lady in charge. Very hard to do in the closet though. It was worth it to see the (devilish) smile on Emma’s face.

 

+++

 

After a few hours of making coffee and moping around, the clock hits eight and Azazel announces that it’s time to close up. The few remaining customers take their leave, the regulars waving and repeating ‘until tomorrow’. Janos gets to work making the four of them their usual post-shift coffee for the work they all have have later tonight. Both Charles and Emma have essays due tomorrow for their respective majors, and Azazel has a night job at some club. Janos just never sleeps. As the others are cleaning up and putting up chairs, he churns out an eiskaffee for Charles, black coffee for Emma, and some caramel abomination for Azazel. He then pulls out a flask of moonshine Emma provided him (he’s not going to ask where she got it from) and gingerly pours some into Charles’s mug before topping off the concoction with some whipped cream. As soon as he’s done, Charles charges over to the station and licks his lips.

 

“Oh, my favorite!” Janos almost feels bad for doing this to their little angel. Almost.

 

“Yes, drink up.” Janos can’t watch this. He goes to help Azazel with cleaning the machines.

 

+++

 

About thirty minutes later, Charles’s head is swimming in liquor. He’ll probably have the worst hangover known to man tomorrow, but for now, he’s drooling all over Emma’s dress shirt and mumbling about Erik’s handsome, chiseled features. Janos and Azazel already left, Janos ashamed of himself and Azazel needing to mooch off Janos’s car.

 

“Charles, sweetie, you _must_ tell Erik tonight. It’s perfect! It’s Valentine's day, Erik’s coming back in a bit, you’ll have the shop all to yourselves. You just have to figure out a way to tell him!” Emma croons.

 

“Y-your right Emmm… I should.” Drunk Charles reminds Emma of her pet boxer, all goofy smiles and slobber.

 

“Yes yes, I’ll even help you!”

 

“You’re the best Ems.” Charles face is flushed. Emma feels a _bit_ bad, but she knows it’s for the sake of the coffee shops’ future.

 

“You’re too sweet, sugar.”

 

“Oh! I just got the bestest idea. Don’t worry Ems, all you gotta do is watch my back.” This is going to be amazing. As long as Emma doesn’t lose her job.

 

+++

 

After Emma helps Charles inside Erik’s office, she's told to stand outside and watch out for Erik’s car. After Charles closes the door, Emma leaves.

 

+++

 

This is Charles’s domain now. First order of business, a pen. Charles almost spills over the metal tin holding Erik’s writing utensils while getting a sharpie. But he didn't! Second, the sticky notes. Charles pulls out half of the desk drawers before finding a wrapped pack of one hundred assorted sticky notes. Perfect. Now, it’s show time. Charles wills his hand to stay steady as he begins his life’s work.

 

In the beginning, he tries to write cute individual notes on each sticky and put them in noticeable spaces. As time goes on, Charles becomes more frustrated and the phrases dissolve into ‘I like yooooou’ and ‘You’re pretty’ and ‘Do you like me?’. Some of them just have hearts and happy faces. They also end up being placed wherever Charles’s hand sweeps over, from the wall and table to the desk lamp and desktop monitor. One ends up on Charles’s forehead. Most of the stickys are filled by the time Erik gets back.

 

+++

 

As Charles is scribbling down yet another ‘I liiiiike you’, he hears the door to the shop opening. He hurriedly finishes off another note and sticks it on the chair. As he rushes out of the room he removes the sticky on his forehand and attaches it to the back of the door.

 

“Erikkkk… my favorite Erik with a k in the wooorld… Welcome back!” Charles celebrates this worthy occasion by throwing up his hands too quickly and almost tipping over backwards.

 

“Why are you still here Charles?” Erik’s voice is laced with concern, having never seen the beauty of a drunk Charles. He catches Charles just in time, and realizes too late the compromising position their in. Charles doesn’t seem to care, and hugs Erik tight.

 

“C’mon Erik, I have something for you! For Valentine's!” Charles is bursting with excitement, giving Erik no room to say anything.

 

Charles drags Erik to his office by his bicep, which is a little high for Charles’s arm. He looks like a child dragging his father through the zoo. He reaches the door and swings it open with as much force as a wrecking ball.

 

“Tada!” Charles squeals.

 

Erik has no words for the scene before him. “Charles. What the fuck.”  Besides those of course.

 

“Don’t you like it?” A very cute, and very wasted Charles responds, ending with a hiccup, coupled by a giggle.

 

Erik rakes his eyes over the room that is his office. Half of the room is coated with sticky notes, all filled with wobbly words and pictures. Erik was about to fire (or scold, it’s his precious sunflower after all) the idiot when he starts reading the notes. Most were filled with ‘I like you’s. An exceedingly large amount of them contained at least one heart. Erik’s face _burns_.

 

‘Tell meee… do you?” Charles is pouting. Oh dear lord. Today is the day he dies.

 

“Yes Charles… I… Love it.” Erik manages.

 

“That’s great! Does that mean…” Charles looks up with those captivating little galaxies other people call ‘eyes’ and Erik knows he’s going to be ruined.

 

“I… I like you too Charles.” he can’t believe how easily that came out. He’s had no idea how to approach Charles, so he’s basically been cockblocking himself through chess games. He swears all of the others know about his ginormous middle school crush on Charles, and refuses to divulge Charles’s impressions of him out of spite. Never in his mind did he think Charles would do… _this_ though. It’s sorta adorable.

 

“Does that mean we’re going out now? Because I’ve been dying for you to ask mee… but you never did! I thought you didn’t like me and whined and whined to Emma because of that.” Charles’s cheeks are puffed up and his lower lip is sticking out. Erik can’t believe this. Emma must’ve drugged him or something. Somehow.

 

“Well, how about I ask you tomorrow morning?”

 

“Whaaat… whyyy?”

 

“Because you’re under the influence Charles. Let’s just get you home right now, and come back to this tomorrow.” He sounds like a PTA dad.

 

“Only if I stay over at your house.” there’s a childish glimmer in Charles’s eyes that tells Erik he’s not getting out of this one.

 

“Fine fine, whatever you wish.” He takes one more painful glance at his office before shoving Charles out of it. On the way to his car, he pours Charles a cup of water and demands he drink it all. As Charles chugs it down, Erik can’t resist looking at Charles’s throat. His mouth is drier than Death Valley. Charles slams the cup down and Erik tosses it in the trash before continuing their march outside.

 

As soon as Charles hits the passenger seat, he’s asleep and drooling (again). Erik buckles him in and drives home.

 

+++

 

When he parks in the driveway, Charles shudders awake.

 

“W-wha… What happened… ” Charles utters.

 

“You demanded to stay at my house. So here we are.”

 

“Oh.”

 

+++

 

Erik helps jelly-legged Charles up the stairs and into his room. He regrets not buying a larger house. On the way up, Erik asks “What did you even drink, Charles?”

 

“Janos’s eiskaffee…” Is all Charles gets out before slumping back to sleep.

 

Someone’s getting fired tomorrow.

 

+++

 

They end up sleeping on the same bed, Erik’s couch too small for Erik’s long limbs. Charles also demanded ‘that this sleepover end with sleeping together’. Erik’s cheeks tinted red when those words first escaped Charles’s lips. He’s blushed more those few hours than most of his life.

 

The morning was too embarrassing for either of them to address on the way to work.

 

+++

 

“Get lucky on Valentine’s day Boss?” Azazel can’t stop the giggle fest coming out.

“You’re all fired. Give me your damn aprons.” Erik states before going into his office.

 

He comes back out red in the face to shout at Charles to help take off the damn sticky notes.

 

They all laugh loud enough to freak out the customers.

 

+++

 

I’m always right, Emma thinks, satisfied with the outcome of her meddling, as she watches Erik give Charles a peck on the cheek.

 

Her smile becomes maniacal as she pulls out her phone to look at an image of Erik’s sticky note covered office, right next to the picture of Erik’s blushing red face.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks fer reading! This was real fun to write :^)


End file.
